Being aware of yours and your partner’s power preference can help you find the most satisfying sex for everyone. Some people like to take the reins, others like to lie back and be pleasured, other people like to switch it up and do both. Like a dance, there’s always a leader and a follower. Dominance and submission isn’t just for kinksters, and you don’t have to go all 50 Shades to play with power dynamics. So what do you do if they just want *you* to take the lead? Sex IS powerĪs the great Janelle Monae said, “If everything is sex / except sex, which is power / you know power is just sex / You screw me and I'll screw you too” LoadingĮveryone interacts with power during sex. In reference to Chloe’s sitch, “it could be that he's nervous, he could have past experience that wasn't so great, there could be plenty I think and maybe yeah for some people even just I don't like that sexually themselves. Sexologist Naomi Hutchings says there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not be initiating sex. Why might your partner not be initiating? There’s a lot of things that could be going on here, but I had to wonder whether Chloe and her partner’s issues were happening because neither was getting the kind of sex that works for each of them. I feel like sometimes he wouldn’t take the initiative to do something for me, like he wouldn’t start going down on me just because, it takes away from the moment” “I have to take complete control of the situation, like I have to be the one who says, let’s do this or that. She feels as though other guys she’s been with in the past are pretty happy to go for it and take control, but not her current partner. “Sometimes the kissing goes on too long and you’re like, are you going to do something?” Loading

She was starting to feel like sex was a stalemate. “There’s definitely intense sexual attraction, but when it comes down to sleeping together, we start kissing but it never moves on from there,” she told The Hook Up. They’d be making out, things would be getting a bit hot, but then he wouldn’t make the next move. Are you getting sick of having to initiate sex all the time?Ĭhloe from Brisbane was dying for her partner to take control once in a while.

Unusual sexual positions